Ranking Arya's Kills

Arya is everyone's favourite revenge-driven killing machine child (or maybe I'm just speaking for myself, yours might be Hit-Girl) and her list of kills on the show seems to be increasing by the season. In this list, I'll be ranking all of her kills so far based on badassery, brutality and how satisfying they were to watch (...what? Some of them really deserved it).

9. Stable Boy

This unnamed stable boy was Arya's first kill and for that reason, it really should be much higher on this list, especially if we consider how much of a momentous event in Arya's life this should have been. It was here that Arya learned she had a true killer instinct inside her that was not entirely under her control. As the stable boy tries to grab her and take her to Cersei, Arya spins around and accidentally sticks the boy with the 'Pointy End' of Needle. However, the accidental nature of the kill, the randomness of this scene and the fact that it wasn't well-directed, well-written or well-acted AT ALL ('Want you, wolf girl. Come here' = legit stable boy dialogue), means that I have to rank this kill at the, well, blunt end of this list.

8. Rorge

Now, Rorge is a funny one. To be honest, this scene as a whole is just... amazing, in all the wrong ways. Arya and the Hound have just finished euthanising a dying man (as you do), which is a really nice, emotional scene (trust me, it is) but then suddenly, the Hound is ambushed! Someone is trying to kill him... by his biting his neck. This moron has the element of surprise and that's all he can think to do. Stab him in the throat? Spear him through the head? Throw an axe at him? Nope. Bite him. Honestly, I despair.

Obviously, that absolute cretin is dispatched by the Hound with ease. But then, things get even worse. We find out that this guy was a bounty hunting assassin that had been tracking Sandor down AND his friend Rorge (who had wronged Arya in the past), was just standing there the whole time with a sword. A sword! Oh my gods. I can't. I just can't. I'm breaking down with laughter. So if Rorge had attacked first - with his fecking sword, mind you - these two buffoons actually would have succeeded and killed the Hound. I'm dead.

Then the final nail in the coffin of this absolute farce is Rorge's actual death. He just stands still and talks whilst Arya walks up to him with Needle and stabs him in the heart. Really Rorge? Really? I would've had more respect for the guy if he had just helplessly ran away screaming. At least then I'd have thought, 'Oh, this guy actually wants to live. He's not just cannon-fodder for Arya to kill'. Oh dear. Rorge, Rorge, Rorge. I don't know if it's bad writing or intentional but, to me, this scene is just hilarious. On the whole, it's pretty safe to say that this was not one of Arya's most 'badass' kills.

7. Soldier at the Inn

When the Hound wants chicken, you better let the man have some chicken. All hell breaks loose at an inn attended by the dynamic duo of Arya and the Hound and a bunch of Joffrey's soldiers. It doesn't end well for the second party. Whilst the Hound takes most of the men at the inn down himself, Arya leads by her tutor/captor's example and smashes a pot over one of their heads before running them through with a sword. It's not pretty, but it certainly does the job.

6. The Waif

The Waif's death was cool, I guess. However, I was expecting so much more from this season six story-line. Like an over-analytical schmuck, I had bought into the theory that The Waif was another side of Arya's personality, so I was holding out on that big reveal. It was the only thing that made sense to me. The Faceless Men were meant to be free from personal grudges and emotions and yet the Waif seemed to utterly detest Arya. That seemed very out of character for someone who was supposed to be 'No One' and so I thought that it was just Arya's own personality that was holding her back.

The Terminator-esque chase scene that led up to her death was rather good but the Waif dying off screen in the dark was a bit... underwhelming. It was a twist, but not an awe-inspiring one. We got less of a Fight Club ending and more Daredevil origin story (that's not to say that Daredevil isn't cool though). And I must say, the Waif's fate - becoming another mask in the Hall of Faces - is still quite satisfying for a sick, sadistic Game of Thrones fan. So... not bad.

5. Red Wedding Soldier

Another Arya and Hound adventure. After the Red Wedding, the two of them overhear a Frey soldier mocking Catelyn Stark's death wail and bragging about sewing Grey Wind's head onto Robb Stark's body. Yeah... this guy was an asshole. So, Arya walks up behind the guy, starts quite a polite conversation with him and then boom, she goes ballistic, stabbing him multiple times with a small knife that she stole off the Hound. Charming. It's also her first intentional kill so that adds significance too.

4. Polliver

'Fine little blade, maybe I'll pick my teeth with it'.

Killer of Lommy, stealer of Needle, depriver of the Hound's chickens. Polliver got what was coming to him - his own lines quoted at him and Needle through the throat. 'Nuff said.

3. Black Walder and Lothar Frey

Probably the most creative deaths of the series so far. Perhaps made even better by the fact that it was signposted such a long time ago. Here's the evidence...

Now, carving two dudes up, putting them in a pie and then serving that pie to their dad is... kinda messed up. To be quite honest, I'm getting actually a bit worried about Arya's growing psychotic, murderous tendencies. She needs some serious counselling. Fast. But damn, her murder spree is entertaining to watch.

2. Meryn Trant

I think we all hated Meryn Trant before he turned out to be a paedophile rapist, right? The guy killed Syrio Forel for cryin' out loud! In fact, I almost thought they were over-egging the awful character traits for this guy in the episode he died. I'm sure the writers just wanted to justify his truly horrific death. But I think it's fair to say they succeeded. Meryn Trant's death is perhaps one of the most brutal onscreen deaths in Game of Thrones (it's at least in the top five) and although it's grim, it's still eye-poppingly satisfying!

1. Walder Frey

We all wanted to see him go and I'm glad Arya was the one to do it. Revenge for the Red Wedding at last! The way she did it did not disappoint either. Posing as a maid at Lannister and Frey Con 2k16, Arya waited until the party was over to reveal her true face. Not only did she slit Walder's throat, just like Catelyn's at the Red Wedding, but she also made him eat his own sons in a pie first. Now that's sick! The Rat Cook got his dues. I guess the moral of the story is, never betray your guests. Ah, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy...

What did you think of our list? Would you have put them in the same order? Let us know what articles you'd like to see in the future.

#Arya #Stark #TheHound #RedWedding